My daughter Star (9) is slow, I mean she moves at her own pace which is usually slower than I would like. She takes forever to get ready for school, she is the last one changed after gym class, she usually runs out of time to eat her lunch, and she just moves at a slow pace. This has caused me no end of frustration over the years. I am always after her to hurry up. However, the other day the thought came to me, "Why am I always in a rush?" I am one of those people who likes to always be on time and often we arrive early even with Star slowing us down. Yelling at her hasn't sped her up all these years so why do I continue to do this. I need to work on being patient and letting her move at her own pace. If she gets distracted I can gently remind her to stay on task but I have got to stop yelling at her to hurry up.
The other day at the rink after skating I was getting impatient with how slow she was getting undressed but as I watched her meticulously clean her blades and put her skates away I realized she wasn't going slow to defy me. Actually she was doing what I asked and taking good care of her new (expensive) skates. If supper was five minutes later that night it really wouldn't matter but having her take care of her own stuff without me jumping in and rushing her along would matter to her. As I was thinking this I remembered how when I was a kid playing ringette and hockey I was often the last one out of the dressing room and I never remember my parents getting annoyed, or constantly harping on me to hurry up. As the parents of seven with most of us in organized sports if anyone had a reason to rush it was them.
So the next time I tempted to yell at my kid to hurry up just because I want to get home I am going to remember to follow the example my parents set and be patient, let her do it herself, relax, and realize that there really is no need to be in a rush. And maybe, maybe if I don't rush her everyday, when we really do need to hurry, she will move a little quicker (But I'm not holding my breath).